Perfectionism Chart

Recently I posted about trying to understand the difference between similar but different things. Today I found an enlightening list describing the distinction between doing your best and perfectionism  (Elder Samuelson, March 2002). I find this extremely encouraging because everything in the perfectionism column describes me to a T. Knowing where you are is an important step. 

"I learned in my life that we don’t need to be “more” of anything to start to become the person God intended us to become. God will take you as you are at this very moment and begin to work with you. All you need is a willing heart, a desire to believe, and trust in the Lord" (Elder Uchtdorf, October 2015).

Doing Your Best	Perfectionism
You desire to give things your best efforts and are satisfied when you do.	You have a list of “shoulds” and “have to’s” and are dissatisfied even if you complete them.
You know it’s okay if you make a mistake. You move on and see your mistake as an opportunity for growth or learning.	Mistakes bring feelings of self-hatred. You don’t want to do anything because you are afraid of failure.
You want to do your personal best, and you try not to compare your achievements to those of others. You don’t need to be the best at all things.	You feel tremendous pressure to earn others’ approval. You must be the best or “perfect” in your tasks.
You can find joy in doing the things you love, and you can get things accomplished.	Your need to do things perfectly leads to procrastination until you have time to do it “perfectly,” and you feel driven by fear or duty instead of love.
Trying to do your best and perfecting yourself “line upon line” with the Savior’s help is Christ-centered because you need the Atonement.	Perfectionism is self-centered. You measure yourself against your own standards and against others’ standards, not God’s.

Mourning

These are just some watercolor pencil quick drafts. More self-therapy than art.

I've observed a tendency in myself and in others that sometimes we don't believe that it is okay to not be okay. We focus so much on how Christ heals that we forget He also feels. I've seen how this often turns us to become stationary or become angry - at God for not healing or at ourselves for not being healed.

I think it is important to remember that Christ not only heals, but He mourns with those that mourn (Mosiah 18:9). It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to address feelings. Because how you feel really matters. Why? Remember the incredible price He paid in order to know exactly what those feelings were like. He died for many reasons. He suffered for many more. He needed both death and suffering to live today for the purpose He desires. Today, He lives to feel with you (Hymn 136).

I am extremely grateful for Christ. For his comforting, enabling, healing, and cleansing power which I can access because He performed the Atonement. I am also grateful that He mourns with me, and each of us, in a way that perhaps no one else can. Because He felt it exactly. He didn't feel it exactly so he could be done with it 2000 years ago. He felt it so he could feel with me today.

As a side note, my five-year-old niece saw the first picture which I drew several days and several realizations before the second. There's no way I can capture how cute this was, but try and imagine that she can't say her "r"s yet.

"She's sad... Is she made out of dirt?"
"Yes."
"That's weird."

Cauliflower Sauce

Type: Sauce, Main

Prep Time: 40 Minutes

Total Time: 40 Minutes

Makes: 3 cups of sauce

Allergy Information:

Contains: coconut

Options: vegan

Ingredients:                                                

1 medium head cauliflower

• 3 cloves garlic
• 1 yellow onion, large

1 1/2 cup coconut milk

• 1 Tbsp butter substitute
• • 1/4 cup Nutritional yeast
  •        (optional, but recommended for Vegan version especially)
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  1/2 cup vegetable or chicken broth

Directions:

1. Cut the onion and garlic into thin slices. Melt the butter in a skillet on low heat, add onion slices and garlic and sauté covered on low until the onions are golden and caramelized (minimum 20 minutes).
2. Bring a pot of well salted water to a boil. Cut the cauliflower into florets and cook until tender (7-10 minutes).
3. Place the tender cauliflower florets into a blender together with the caramelized onions, garlic, ½ cup of broth, milk and salt. Puree until smooth.
4. Store the sauce in a container with a lid (like a mason jar) and place in the fridge, if not using right away.

Into the Unknown

Another Watercolor :) I painted this months ago. This dancer is calmly transitioning into the unknown. She trusts that it is the direction she should go even though she can't see clearly where she is going.

States!

I water colored some states that mean a lot to me. California coming soon :)

Balsamic Black Bean Salsa

Type: Appetizer, Dip, Vegan
Prep Time: 10 min
Total Time: 10 min
Makes: 

Allergy Information:
Contains: tomatoes, raw onions
Options: 

Ingredients:                                                

1 Red pepper
1 Green pepper
1 Cucumber
1/2 Red Onion
3 Roma Tomatoes
Cilantro
Avocado (keep separate if planning to store in fridge)
S&P
1 T Balsamic Vinegar
1 tsp maple syrup or 1/2 tsp brown sugar
1/4 tsp Paprika
1/4 tsp Cumin
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp lemon juice 

Directions:

1. dice all vegetables
2. add seasonings
3. stir thoroughly

Serve on spinach or with chips.

Distinctions

Temperance
 noun; moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc.; self-control. 

 I think one of the  biggest keys to a happy life is balance between extremes  (in a word: temperance). Satan works in extremes. The scriptures are filled with references of how "more or less" than the gospel is evil (More or Less - LDS.org search). We see this in countless examples in life: eating too much verses eating too little, challenging others too much verses being so understanding you limit progress, condoning the sin verses condemning the sinner. The balance in the middle of extremes is where we want to be. To help me understand life more clearly and find more balance, I have made a list of things to study in the future.  

 These things are Different: 

Rest and Idleness  
Joy and Happiness 

Work and Business 

Accepting Differences and Condoning Sin

Honesty and Inconsideration 

Addressing Feelings and Dwelling in Negativity 

Positivity and Running from Problems

Sweet Above All

I was once reading the Book of Mormon from the beginning after I time where I had had my testimony of the relationship between obedience and blessings strengthened. I was excited to find these correlations in my new re-reading of the Book of Mormon. As I read with this intent, however, I was puzzled to find what seemed like the opposite. 

Lehi prays with all his heart for the city of Jerusalem. He whole-heartedly cares for these people and in direct response to his obedience to the commandment to love and pray, he receives a vision of these people - for which he cares for with his whole heart - get wiped off the earth. (1 Nephi 1). Cool. What kind of blessing is that?

It continues. God literally tells Lehi (and I summarize) "Because you have been obedient, your life is in danger, you are going to be killed, unless you leave everything you have behind." (1 Nephi 2:1-2). The direct correlation I was looking for was blessings for obedience. Not punishment for obedience. 

This caused me some confusion for years. Until recently when I linked this concept to some other truths in the Book of Mormon. Later, when Nephi witnesses the vision of the tree of life, he describes the fruit as "sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the ^bwhiteness that I had ever seen" (1 Nephi 8:11). 

Other prophets testified of the sweetness of the joy of the gospel. In Alma, this fruit is described as "sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst" (Alma 32:42). 

The fruit of the gospel (in this analogy - the blessings resulting from obedience to our benevolent Father) are truly sweet above all that is sweet. Any pain that we face will be filled with joy. I find great hope in the fact that the depth of the pain which we feel reflects the amount of pure joy that can fill our hearts. 

Alma described it this way: " Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy" (Alma 36:21).

Upon re-reading Lehi's account, He describes his vision with amazing descriptions, which I somehow missed when I read it while being so bewildered that he watched his beloved people get wiped out. But, Lehi's "SOUL did rejoice, and his whole heart was FILLED, because of the things which he had seen, yea, which the Lord had shown unto him" (1 Nephi 1:15).

 "I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs, and that
heavenly promises are always kept." —Jeffery R. Holland

It is worth it.

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

Why does perfect love cast out all fear?

Love is the opposite of fear. "There is no fear in love" (1 John 4:18). As we have more love filling our hearts, we have less room for fear. Perfect love is the type of love which casts ALL fear out. Perfect love is Christlike love.
"It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser
suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive" (Jeffery R. Holland, Like a Broken Vessel).

Christlike love is always accompanied by obedience (Jeffery R. Holland, The Costs - and Blessings - of Discipleship). Christ himself defined this by saying "If you love me, keep my commandments" (John 15:10). Obedience brings confidence because laws of God are predicated on obedience. When we keep commandments, we get blessings. This is a consistent law. It is absolute. So why does perfect love cast out fear? As we have more love, we have less room for fear. And as we have more Christlike love we are more obedient, and can experience the consistency of blessings which are predicated on obedience. 

Also. God is love (John 4:16). Why does perfect love cast out fear? Because God casts fear out of us. Christ - our perfect, beautiful Savior - suffered and felt our fear, so he would know what it felt like. So he would know how to succor us (Alma 7:12). Christ also suffered for our sins to keep the commandment of the Father (which proves his perfect love to the Father). His willingness to do this also showed his understanding that sin cannot be tolerated or condoned. "No clean thing can inherit the kingdom of God" (Alma 40:26). Sin can however be forgiven.

Christ is the perfect love which casts fear out of us as we use his purifying Atonement. Also, as we develop love in our own hearts through obedience, and through coming to understand and appreciate Christ, we consume the room fear needs to grow in our hearts.